An Inspirational Mother

Adeline Denaro DiSantis

Everyone loves their mother, usually. I have been inspired by mine.

After my father’s death in 1987, Mom was not alone. Janet (my only sibling) and her family lived in the duplex unit upstairs. Obviously, for Mom, life was going to change very dramatically. (I know Janet can add more about that time in Mom’s life, because I was not around, living Washington.)

There were three things at that time Mom did which inspired me and proved you are never too old to change, never too old to learn new tricks and never too old to start over. Yet it was not the first time Mom impressed me.

It didn’t take me 40 years to appreciate my mother. Embarrassingly and too late, it started in 1965. As I was preparing to enter college at Pratt Institute, in Brooklyn, I had little savings to pay for my own education. Mom, who had been a “stay at home Mom” for 18 years, decided to find a job and it was for my benefit. Realizing she didn’t want to work retail, the next biggest company within walking distance from home, was the Dollar Savings Bank on Grand Concourse near Fordham Road. It was a huge marble columns and floors majestic bank.

With few marketable clerical skills (read none), she marched into the personal office of the bank for an interview. I’m not sure how the interview started, I just know it ended well. At sometime during the interview the bank’s VP of Personnel stuck his head into the interview room. He asked my mother one question, “Can you cook?” CAN YOU COOK? In a bank? What kind of a crazy question was that? Was he patronizing her? No. Actually, in fact, he was recruiting to fill a position in the executive dining room.

I’m sure Mom lit up the room with that question as she recanted the size of our extended family and the many meals she prepared or helped to prepare for them. The VP took Mom on a tour of the dining room on the top floor of the bank and she met her soon to be co-worker, Gisella, the head cook. I think she was hired on the spot. In so doing, she began her second career after marriage. There she remained as the second in command (there were no others) at the Dollar Savings Bank Executive Dining Room for over 20 years.

Fast forward about 22 years, my father died. My Mom’s sister, Doris, came up from Mexico to stay with her for a while. One of the things Aunt Doris did was to motivate Mom to learn to drive. As a young teenager, I remember Dad trying to teach Mom to drive. It didn’t go well and I thought I could do a better job driving. The subject was dropped for a long time. Mom had always depended on Dad for a lift anywhere she wanted to go. After moving away from The Bronx, Dad would take her to work at the bank and bring her home daily. (Janet could verify that.)

After studying her New York Drivers License Manual, and passing the learner’s permit test, she was ready to go. But who would teach her to drive? Good question. Mom, eventually signed up to learn to drive from the Sears Driving School. It may sound like a joke, but it was a real thing then. She, eventually got her license and she was 65. I remember arranging for her to buy a retiring company car from Airborne Express, which she drove for many more years. The driver’s license was the first step in rebuilding her life. New York State Driver’s License, CHECK.

With all this new found freedom and mobility, the second step was high school. She never graduated in the 1940’s. So, Mom enrolled in a GED program for adults, she attended classes to brush up on some academics, took her test and got her GED. (Again Janet could add more depth to this story.) G.E.D., CHECK.

Proudly with her GED in hand Mom had more skills for her third step forward which was a new job! She was retired, getting her Social Security, widows benefits and a pension from the bank, yet she wanted to work. After all, she was young, maybe 66. (Once again I would turn to Janet to fill in the details to this part.) Mom worked for a local community newspaper doing subscriptions or advertising. That’s all I know. I’m not even sure I got that right, but something like that. Thus, her third career. Career in journalism, CHECK.

Currently at this writing, Mom turned 98 last December and is living her life out in a nursing home in Danbury, CT.

Photo Notes: Top row, l to r – Teenage girl, young woman, young married lady and unknown (Sorry, I liked the smile.) . Bottom row, both were from our RV road trip to Yellowstone in 2007. She is wearing MY hat!